The Theory of Everything
by meggirl49
Summary: This is my take on Stephen's reaction after he found out about his disease.


**Summary: This is my take on what Stephen went through when he first found out about his disease.**

 **Note: I do not own anything.**

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My days are getting increasingly more difficult. Walking in a normal manner is almost impossible because my legs fail to cooperate. They drag behind me as I take each step, causing me to look flustered.

I just want to be alone.

The doctors told me I only have two years to live. That is when my motor neuron disease will have taken its course over my body. I do not want anyone to see me like this. I do not want their pity. They will think that I am so fragile and broken. No longer will they know me by my knowledge of physics but by my disease.

Right now I am sitting alone in my dorm room. I moved the blankets from my bunk to the floor because climbing to my bed had become too difficult. I was sitting on the floor, reading a book on chess, still in my pajamas. I did not go to my classes this morning, and I planned on skipping my afternoon classes as well.

I am smart enough to know that wallowing in my self-pity would do me no good. I have never let my emotions get the better of me before. But learning that I only have two years to live really set me back. I have worked so hard my entire life to become a physicist, to become someone who could make a difference in the world, but now that is going to never happen. My body is going to fail me, eventually, and there is no way that I am going to accomplish everything that I want to accomplish in such a short period of time.

'Knock' 'Knock'

"Stephen, why weren't you in class today?" My friend Brian asked through the door.

"Please, just go away," I said.

Brian opened the door and paused when he saw me on the floor.

"Are you still not feeling well because of hitting your head?"

"Something like that," I replied.

"Well what is it then? We've been friends for a long while now, you can tell me what's going on with you," Brian said. He pulled the chair out that was near my desk and sat across from me.

I took a breath before I decided to tell him what was going on.

"I have a disease, Brian."

"I'm sorry? What are you talking about?"

"I have motor neuron disease. They gave me two years to live." As I was saying this, I spoke as though this information was no big deal. Maybe if I brushed it off, it would not become a reality.

"What? I'm sorry it's just that I don't…I don't understand."

"Look," I said. With my left hand I put up four fingers, but the fingers on my right hand would not straighten. "The nerve cells in my brain are progressively degenerating. It is going to affect walking, talking, and eventually swallowing. As the doctors put it, my muscles are wasting away."

Brian looked to the floor for a few moments before nervously adjusting and then finally speaking. "Stephen…I don't know what to say." As I looked back at him, Brian had tears in his eyes.

"You don't have to say anything. But to be frank with you I would just like to be alone right now. If you don't mind." I gave him a weak smile.

"Are you sure?" Brian asked and I nodded. "Alright, but I'll see you soon. I'm going to come visit you later tonight, okay?"

"See you soon then." He gave me a smile then left my dorm room.

After reading for a bit longer I decided that I should get around to eating something. After returning to campus from the hospital I grabbed a sandwich from the store on campus and I still had half of it on my desk. Since I still did not feel like leaving my room, I decided the day old sandwich was going to be my meal for the evening.

I carefully stood up and moved the chair that Brian sat on back over to my desk. I sat on the chair and reached for the cup of water that also resided on my desk. Instead of grabbing the cup, my hand knocked it off the desk and the cup shattered on impact. I sat staring at it for a moment and again, more negative thoughts began to cloud my mind.

What was going to become of me? How long before I can no longer do things myself like walk, talk, or even eat? How long am I going to feel this miserable about what became of me?

I rested my head on my desk and began to cry. I have never been this emotional before. And I cannot remember the last time I actually cried.

I had no idea how much time had passed, but I must have fallen asleep because I woke to a dark room and the sound of my door opening.

"Stephen?" I heard Brian's familiar voice say.

I looked up at him and it must have been obvious that I was crying. His eyes looked from me to the shattered glass on the floor.

"I'm scared," I told Brian.

"I know. But you have me. And you have Jane. You have told her, haven't you?"

I shook my head. "You are the only person I've spoken too since I've gotten back."

"You haven't left your room at all? Not even to eat?" I shook my head. "Then let's go down to the commons and get some food, alright?" Brian held out a helping hand and I took it.

With a small amount of struggle we made it down the stairs and to the commons to get something to eat. After that Brian helped me back to my room and I eventually got some sleep.

I woke late the next morning. It was Saturday so I did not have to worry about missing classes again. I decided to go down to the lounge area and watch some mindless television. I was slowly taking the steps I needed to take in order to get back to whatever normal life there was waiting for me.

After a while I heard steps enter the lounge.

"Stephen?" A woman's voice, Jane, said.

"Sorry, you just missed him," I said.

"I've tried calling you, but you never answered."

"I wasn't feeling well." I knew I probably sounded cold. I did not want to be rude to Jane like this, I really cared about her a lot. But I could not stop myself from acting like this.

"Brian told me what was going on with you. You don't need to do this," She said while walking closer to the chair I was in. She kneeled down next to me.

"Please just go."

Silence fell between us. I had no clue as to what I should say next. But, Jane broke the silence before I could even try.

"Play a game of croquet with me," I shook my head. Jane sighed then said, "Play a game with me, or else I will never come back here again."

As much as I wanted to be alone, I could not stand the thought of not seeing Jane again. All I had to do was play one game with her. Maybe I could have one moment of normalcy before those moments were gone forever.

I stood up with a huff and headed for the part of campus where the croquet game was set up. I could feel eyes on me as I walked. It actually looked more like stumbling than walking. I could barely stay up, but then I heard heels clicking behind me so I slowed a bit. I hoped that walking slower would make me seem less clumsy in front of Jane but then I realized it did not matter what speed I 'walked' at. I would still look clumsy.

I grabbed a croquet stick and started playing as quickly as I could, using the stick like a cane to help me stay balanced. Jane was not playing, only watching me. I did not want any pity, let alone pity from her. I began to feel angry, not at her, but at myself. I was moving faster and stumbling even more.

Why couldn't I just walk? Not even two weeks ago I was riding a bike, now I am struggling in a silly game of croquet.

I went to hit the ball but Jane stepped in front of me and picked it up. Sadness was all I could see on her face. I could not handle all of these emotions anymore. I dropped the croquet stick and moved as fast as I could to return to my dorm.

The stairs, again, were a challenge but I was able to make it up them with only minor hesitation. Once in my room I threw the chair with my chessboard on it at the wall. My door then opened and Jane walked in.

"Jane please just go away!" I said with tears welling up in my eyes.

"Stephen we can get through this together," She said coming closer to me.

"You have no idea of what is in store. I only have two years. I need to work."

"But Stephen, I love you." I looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"You…I..Th-That's a false conclusion," I said. She took my hands in hers and looked straight into my eyes.

"I love you, Stephen. We will get through this together. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. Whether it be two years, or twenty." With those words she leaned in and kissed me. I kissed her back.

For the rest of the night we sat on my bed and just talked. Not about me, but about her. Her family, her favorite hobbies, and her love for medieval poetry. Then, once night rolled around she gave me a kiss goodnight and left. I was able to fall asleep that night without another thought of my disease.

But then morning happened.

As I was putting my trousers on, I lost my footing and hit my head of the edge of my desk. I was disoriented and that made it all the more difficult for me to stand. I decided to lean against my desk for a bit to gather myself, then I stood again. I finished getting dressed, grabbed my book bag, and left my room to go to the telephone.

'Ring' 'Ring'

"Hello?" A woman answered.

"Yes, may I speak to Brian please?"

"Of course, one moment," She said. I waited, and not long after being put on hold, Brian answered.

"Hello?"

"Brian, it's me Stephen. I need your help."

I waited outside my room for Brian. Once he got there he helped me over to the elevator.

"So what happened?" He asked.

"I fell and hit my head on the desk. I just thought that you could walk with me to our Professor's office so in case I fell or something I would at least have someone with me."

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yes, just a tad clumsy these days," I joked. Brian seemed surprised by my sudden joking, but he laughed too.

After arriving for my meeting with my Professor, it seemed like I would be alright to walk by myself for the rest of the day. I guess that falling made me a little more paranoid than I needed to be.

In the meeting, my Professor hounded me on how I should really figure out what I was going to do my thesis on. It had been a while since I was told to begin searching for a topic, but I still had no clue as to what I wanted to do.

That was all that he wanted to talk about, so I left his office and Brian was waiting outside the building for me.

"I'm alright now Brian, I'm just going to go for a walk."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" He offered.

"I'm sure, but thank you anyway. I just want to go at it alone."

I headed for the river walk that was on the east side of campus. It was a gorgeous path that allowed me to just forget about everything and just enjoy the nature that surrounded me.

There was a mother and her child walking in the opposite direction of me. I smiled at the boy as the passed, and he asked loudly to his mother,

"Mommy, why is he walking like that?" The mother shushed her son and kept walking.

I, on the other hand, stopped. I had not realized how awkwardly I was walking. The emotions I was trying so hard to escape since I first found out about my disease came flooding back in an instant. I could not contain anything any longer so I made a loud, frustrated noise. Luckily, nobody was around to hear it. Along with that, I decided to run.

I pushed as hard as I could and ran along the path. I felt like I could force myself to be in control of my own body. I thought that maybe I could slow my disease from spreading if I just pushed myself as hard as I possibly could.

However, my brain had its own agenda. I lost my footing once again and reached out to a nearby tree to prevent myself from falling. I again felt tears in my eyes. This seemed to be happening a lot lately.

After allowing this to happen for a few more minutes, I gathered myself and decided that I would try to stop feeling so bad for myself. I will try to just take things as they come and enjoy what I am presently capable of doing. It will be a difficult journey, and at some times I know I will find difficulties in maintaining my mindset, but I will have to try my best and make the best of everything.

I have two amazing people in my life. They both care for me, and I care for them immensely. They are going to help me get through this. And I think I am going to be okay.

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 **I hope you enjoyed my take on Stephen's reaction to finding out about his disease. Please leave a review to let me know what you think! All notes are appreciated! Thank you!**


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